Honoring
Kurtis Noel Hickman Snyder

Well, I started to write something kinda nice just now, but it somehow got erased accidently :(. So, I will make this short and sweet for now. I love you so damn much Kurtis, and I will Always. I will always miss your face too. My precious Nephew, whom I grew very close to, for quite a few years. We basically grew up together. I am blessed and so grateful for having known your beautiful life & truly awesome Soul, and I will never stop wishing this tragedy our family has to suffer through, never, ever happened, of course. I think of you constantly, not only just daily either. It’s at least every half hour, to every few hours, for sure. I can only feel comfort knowing that God needed you to help Him, and all of Heaven, to start making your plan of action, for the “Big War”. Yes, I am talking about the Good vs. evil crap that never seems to wanna end. I have a feeling that you are such a a Genius, that you possibly could solve whatever needs to be figured out. You might be of the very few who He can trust, with such a beautiful and majorly intelligent brain of yours.That must be it. I am also happy for you, that you get to be with Carol and Papa, and Emily’s folks, Lally, Louis (Loucifer)and all the people that we love and have lost throughout the years, when they went to Heaven. Esther too. Esther my balls. Lol. You and Wayne are having constant nerd offs with Louis too, and headbanging your asses off to all the loud music you guys could ever ask for. One day, I will be so happy to join you all, just not quite yet. I am so sorry for not being able to do the one thing you begged me to do, during our last phone conversation, my love. I am still working on it. If I could change a few things I have done in the past, at the top of the list would be me listening to you, and just saying “fuck it”, and rushing over to my Mom’s house, to come kick it with you guys right away. I will always wish I had seen you again before you had to go to heaven. You were one of my best fucking friends that I ever had. I know you don’t think too poorly of me, despite what things you can see me doing that you might not be so happy with. You have the same unconditional love for me, as I really do for you, forever and ever. I wanna hug you so bad!! Oh, another thing on the list would have been to force you to go to the Dr to do lab work and a regular check up, if I could have. I would have helped you get weaned off the alcohol, as well as wean myself off the Fentanyl and Crystal Methamphetamines. Well, I guess it was meant to be the way more shitty and horribly fucked way that it is, without you to ever see, or talk to, on Earth, ever again. Until it is my time to go fly go join you in Heaven, at least.
We all love you so much here on Earth, and miss you like fuuuuuuuck, man. It sucks balls, but it is what it is. I promise you, I have not given up on trying to quit , and come home. In fact, I am closer to trying to quit now, than ever before. In fact, today, I have plans to go schedule when to start my Methadone dosing, today. I am going to my Dr. In a little bit. A big part of it, I am doing because of you. To honor You. I love you and ai am sorry that I wasn’t at your “funeral”, because I didn’t know it was gunna happen. My fault for not staying in touch with my family enough. Thank you for all the dragonflies, lol, and all of the signs you send me, all the time. I love you with all of my heart. I will always miss you. And I wish you well on your Heavenly adventures, and I will see you there, someday. Goodbye my BunnyBear. I love you so much!! Mwah!!