Tag: Memorial Service

Honoring More Than Just One: The Beautiful Bonus of Virtual Memorials

Attendees at a Memorial Service
Memorial services honor not only the departed, but also the attendees!

We’ve shared lots about how a virtual memorial can beautifully honor someone’s life, and that’s absolutely true. But let’s take a step back and look at the bigger picture. When you choose a virtual format for a celebration of life, you’re not just honoring the person who passed. You’re also honoring the people who show up. 

That’s right; you’re honoring the guests. The ones who shared meals, memories, and milestones. Whether they were a college roommate, a coworker from a decade ago, or a cousin living three time zones away, these people matter—and a virtual memorial honors them in a way that a traditional funeral service cannot. 

Virtual Memorials Are Helpful For Everyone Involved

Think about it. If your loved one had friends, coworkers, or family members scattered across the country (or especially across the globe) a traditional in-person event might unintentionally exclude some of the very people who knew and loved them. The journey to attend an in-person only funeral is arduous and expensive. Flights, hotels, rental cars… not to mention missed work, jet lag, and TSA security lines that test the limits of human patience. These barriers often prevent individuals from attending a gathering they sincerely desired to attend.

By choosing a virtual memorial or online funeral, you’re not just “making it easier”—you’re making it possible. The memorial becomes possible for more people to grieve, reflect, and celebrate together without needing to cash in vacation days or sell a kidney for airfare.

“Won’t Attendees Feel Less Connected in A Virtual Funeral?”

Great question. Some people worry that a virtual memorial lacks the depth or emotional power of an in-person gathering. But let me gently (and lovingly) push back.

Connection doesn’t require pews and programs and grief doesn’t care about geography. When someone shares a story that makes everyone laugh or cry—whether it’s in a chapel or over an online gathering—it’s real. The love is real. The tears are real. And the honor? Still very much present.

And perhaps the greatest advantage of all: the joy of friends and family who could never have gathered in person are finally connecting after 10, 15, even 20 years. A virtual memorial makes those reunions possible, creating moments of unity and shared memory that are every bit as powerful, moving, and joyful as those experienced in person.

A Celebration of Life That Includes Everyone

When you choose a virtual format, you’re telling your guests:
“Hey, you matter too. Your memories, your connection, your presence—those are worth making space for.”

A virtual memorial doesn’t replace traditional connection; it expands it. It widens the circle so more people can step in and say, “They mattered to me, too.” For those still desiring that in person touch, a hybrid funeral can be a good middle ground. 

So yes, the online memorial service is a beautiful way to honor your loved one. But let’s not overlook the beautiful way it honors everyone else, too.

The Most Overlooked Part of a Memorial Service (And Why It Matters So Much)

Sign point to Memorial Reception

When planning an online memorial service, many families focus their attention on the formal portion—the eulogies, readings, music, and the structured moments that honor a loved one’s life. And rightfully so. A well-crafted memorial service can be deeply moving and meaningful.

But there’s a part of the experience that sometimes gets overlooked: the memorial reception.

Every now and then, a family asks if they can skip the virtual reception portion and just hold the service. Whenever that comes up, I always encourage them to reconsider—and here’s why.

The Reception Is Where Connection Happens

Imagine attending a beautiful memorial service in person—whether in a church, synagogue, funeral home, or any meaningful venue. The ceremony is heartfelt, emotional, and perfectly honors your loved one. But when it’s over, everyone quietly leaves without saying a word to each other.

No hugs.
No stories.
No shared memories.

It would feel incomplete, wouldn’t it?

That’s exactly what happens when a virtual or online memorial service is held without a reception afterward. The memorial reception isn’t just an “extra”—it’s the space for connection, for interaction, for real community.

A Virtual Reunion Across Time and Space

The beauty of a virtual memorial reception is that it opens the door for family and friends—many of whom haven’t seen each other in years, or may have never met at all—to reconnect.

It often feels like a family reunion.

You might have a college friend of the deceased meeting a former coworker for the first time. Or cousins who haven’t spoken in a decade catching up over shared memories. People from different seasons of your loved one’s life come together in the same (virtual) room, united by the impact that person had on them.

These conversations aren’t scripted. There’s no formal agenda. It’s simply people showing up, speaking from the heart, and being present with one another. And it’s beautiful.

Seen, Heard, and Remembered

In a virtual setting, especially when people are watching a memorial service alone from their homes, it’s easy to feel isolated. The reception changes that. It gives everyone the chance to be seen and heard—to laugh, to cry, to say, “Do you remember when…”

These spontaneous, unscripted moments often become some of the most meaningful parts of the memorial experience.

Don’t Skip the Reception!

If you’re planning an online memorial service, I can’t recommend strongly enough that you include a memorial reception. The service honors your loved one’s life, but the reception celebrates their relationships—the people they touched, the memories they made, and the community they built.

It’s a space for healing. A space for remembering. And a space that brings people together, even across miles and time zones.

Don’t miss out on that part of the experience. It matters more than you might expect.

What Really Happens in an Online Memorial Service?

Online Memorial Service

When people hear the words online memorial service or virtual funeral, they’re often unsure what to expect. Can a memorial really be meaningful when it’s held online? What does it include? How does it even work?

At first glance, the idea of a virtual memorial service may sound like a poor substitute for a traditional, in-person gathering. But once people understand what’s actually included, they’re often surprised at how powerful and deeply connective these services can be. Here’s what really goes into a well-crafted online memorial.

The Memorial Website: A Permanent Tribute

The first step to every online memorial is creating a memorial website—a digital space that acts as both a tribute and a gathering place. These are lasting tributes that honor your loved one’s legacy. While each site can vary significantly these sites typically include items like:

  • Obituaries
  • Service details
  • Photos and videos of your loved one
  • Poems, favorite sayings, or scriptures
  • A donation portal for causes they cared about
  • And perhaps most importantly, a guest book where family and friends from all over the world can share stories, upload their own photos, and leave heartfelt messages.

This site isn’t just a placeholder—it becomes a lasting legacy that people can return to again and again, long after the service is over. Learn more about memorial websites here, or take a look at a sample memorial webpage here. 

The Virtual Memorial Service: Honoring a Life Together

The heart of the experience is the virtual memorial service itself. This is a neatly planned service that follows a structured program to ensure every special moment is carefully executed. Just like a traditional service, it follows a intentionally designed order that may include:

  • Clergy or spiritual leaders
  • Eulogies from friends and family
  • Musical performances
  • Scripture or poetry readings
  • Ceremonial elements like candle lightings

These are live events, and everyone who speaks is given the space to do so intentionally and meaningfully. Families work with our planning team to design the order of service, choosing speakers and moments that best reflect the person they’re honoring. For more details on how we design this space, check out our post on the diamond approach! 

Rather than feeling distant or disconnected, these services often surprise people with how intimate and heartfelt they can be—even through a screen.

The Virtual Reception Room: Connection Beyond the Ceremony

After the formal service, the tone shifts. Just as you’d head to the fellowship hall or family home after a traditional funeral, the virtual reception room provides space for open connection.

There’s no script. No agenda. Just a chance for loved ones to unmute, turn on their cameras, and share. Maybe it’s a funny memory, a moment of gratitude, or simply a hello across time zones. These unscripted conversations bring warmth and community in a way that many people don’t expect from a virtual setting.

A New Way to Remember, A Deeply Human Experience

A virtual funeral doesn’t mean a lesser experience—it means a more accessible, inclusive one. With thoughtful planning, these three components—memorial website, structured service, and open reception—create something truly meaningful.

In a world that’s increasingly digital, the online memorial service isn’t just a backup plan. It’s a new, valid, and moving way to honor a life well lived.

Hybrid Funerals Can Fall Short — Why Fully Online Services Are Better

Video at hybrid event

A Hybrid funeral or memorial service is where an in-person gathering is live-streamed to remote attendees. These have become increasingly popular. But let’s be honest: they leave something to be desired.

Right off the bat I want to be very clear; I’m not saying hybrid services don’t serve a purpose. If you’re hosting an in-person event in a remote location, maybe on a beach, in the mountains, or at a family home, a livestream can be a great option. It helps distant loved ones experience the occasion. We help with these kinds of Hybrid Memorials all the time, and they can be very beautiful. If you’re looking to livestream an in person event, don’t hesitate to reach out. 

But there is a critical issue with Hybrid Funerals that needs to be addressed, and it has to do with inclusivity. 

The Problem with Hybrid Funerals, Memorial Services, or Celebrations of Life

The biggest issue with hybrid services is that they create two completely separate audiences. The in-person attendees and the online viewers are not having the same experience. One group is physically present, surrounded by others, hugging, laughing, crying together. The other group? They’re watching from a screen, passively observing. Perhaps they may get a quick nod from the speaker at the podium:

“We just want to acknowledge those joining us online—thank you for being here.”

And usually, that’s about the most interaction they get. 

A study done in the UK found the same thing – while hybrid memorials allowed a greater audience to attend, they left virtual attendees feeling less satisfied than the in person audience. 

Some quick thoughts on why Fully online Memorials might be the better overall option.

Why Fully Online Memorial Services & Celebrations of Life Are More Meaningful

Now, let’s take a look at a fully online memorial service. Here, everyone is in the same space. Attendees can turn on their microphones and cameras, type in the chat, share their thoughts in real time, and contribute to the experience instead of just watching it.  Everyone is a participant.

When everyone is online, no one feels like an afterthought. Everyone has an equal opportunity to share memories, speak up, and truly participate. The grieving process isn’t about sitting quietly and watching — it’s about connection. Fully online services foster that connection in a meaningful way for remote attendees. 

Separate, Not Blended

Some people argue that hybridization is the best of both worlds, but unfortunately it can leave the remote side feeling neglected. Instead of opting for an in-person event with an online audience it makes more sense to separate them into two distinct gatherings.

Many families we work with hold a fully online service first, ensuring that everyone, no matter where they are, has a chance to connect and participate. Then, those who are local gather separately for an intimate, in-person remembrance. Two beautiful experiences, rather than one experience that doesn’t quite serve anyone.

The Bottom Line

If you’re planning a memorial, you’re helping everyone honor and grieve their loved one. Hybrid services may seem like a convenient compromise, but can unintentionally leave half of your attendees disconnected. Instead, consider giving both experiences, online and in-person, the full space they deserve. Honoring a loved one should never be about just watching. It should be about being present, in a manner that allows for deep, rich connection.

Memorials aren’t actually for the deceased

Flowers at memorial
Photo by Caroline Attwood on Unsplash

There’s a common misconception I see when it comes to memorials—whether traditional funeral services, viewings, celebration of life gatherings, or even virtual memorial services. Many believe that when we memorialize someone who has passed, we’re doing it for them, as if the act of remembrance serves their benefit. But the truth is, memorials are for the living.

The Purpose of Memorialization

When we gather to have a funeral, host a memorial service, tell stories, share memories, or create an online celebration of life, we aren’t doing it for the deceased. We do it for ourselves. These moments of remembrance help us — the ones left behind — process our grief, find closure, and begin to navigate life without that person.

Grief is a complex process that can vary substantially from person to person. Memorialization, in any form, provides structure for that process. It allows us to acknowledge our loss, express our emotions, and feel a sense of connection even after someone is gone.

Creating a Memorial That Feels Right to You

When planning a memorial, it’s important to honor your loved one’s wishes — doing so honors their last requests — but it’s just as important to recognize that this process is for you. Memorialization is about healing, reflection, and finding closure in a way that feels meaningful to those left behind. Whether that means hosting a formal service, organizing a casual gathering, or creating an online memorial, the format should support your grieving process, not stringently adhere to some other format. 

I often hear people say their deceased loved one “didn’t want a big funeral,” or didn’t want people to “make a fuss” over their death. But their loss hurts. Their life mattered. There’s a huge hole in the place they used to fill in our lives. This commonly expressed sentiment, “don’t inconvenience yourself over me when I’m gone,” often comes from a genuine heart of caring for those who are left behind — but, crucially, misses the actual needs of those left behind! If we choose to gather and honor them for our sake, we aren’t defying their wishes. On the contrary! We still honor them by speaking about how they so lovingly cared for others.

Planning Your Own Memorial? Allow for Flexibility

For those who are thinking ahead and considering how they want to be remembered, it’s understandable to have preferences. However, being too prescriptive in memorial plans can unintentionally limit the emotional process for loved ones. The best memorials are those that allow the grieving to honor their loved one in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them.

Often, when I refer to online memorials, the focus is on the flexibility they provide for attendees. While that’s a valuable benefit, the flexibility I’m referring to here is something different. It’s about giving your loved ones the freedom to plan a memorial that feels right to them. Memorials should be a reflection of the people who are grieving, allowing them to find healing in their own way.

A Thought to Carry Forward

The next time you think about a funeral or memorialization for a loved one, remember this: it’s not for them. It’s for you. It’s for the ones who remain, who need a way to navigate grief, find closure, and keep the memory of their loved one alive in their own way.

By shifting our perspective on memorials, we allow ourselves and others the space to grieve, heal, and remember — not out of obligation, but out of love.

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