Tag: Virtual Funerals

What Really Happens in an Online Memorial Service?

Online Memorial Service

When people hear the words online memorial service or virtual funeral, they’re often unsure what to expect. Can a memorial really be meaningful when it’s held online? What does it include? How does it even work?

At first glance, the idea of a virtual memorial service may sound like a poor substitute for a traditional, in-person gathering. But once people understand what’s actually included, they’re often surprised at how powerful and deeply connective these services can be. Here’s what really goes into a well-crafted online memorial.

The Memorial Website: A Permanent Tribute

The first step to every online memorial is creating a memorial website—a digital space that acts as both a tribute and a gathering place. These are lasting tributes that honor your loved one’s legacy. While each site can vary significantly these sites typically include items like:

  • Obituaries
  • Service details
  • Photos and videos of your loved one
  • Poems, favorite sayings, or scriptures
  • A donation portal for causes they cared about
  • And perhaps most importantly, a guest book where family and friends from all over the world can share stories, upload their own photos, and leave heartfelt messages.

This site isn’t just a placeholder—it becomes a lasting legacy that people can return to again and again, long after the service is over. Learn more about memorial websites here, or take a look at a sample memorial webpage here. 

The Virtual Memorial Service: Honoring a Life Together

The heart of the experience is the virtual memorial service itself. This is a neatly planned service that follows a structured program to ensure every special moment is carefully executed. Just like a traditional service, it follows a intentionally designed order that may include:

  • Clergy or spiritual leaders
  • Eulogies from friends and family
  • Musical performances
  • Scripture or poetry readings
  • Ceremonial elements like candle lightings

These are live events, and everyone who speaks is given the space to do so intentionally and meaningfully. Families work with our planning team to design the order of service, choosing speakers and moments that best reflect the person they’re honoring. For more details on how we design this space, check out our post on the diamond approach! 

Rather than feeling distant or disconnected, these services often surprise people with how intimate and heartfelt they can be—even through a screen.

The Virtual Reception Room: Connection Beyond the Ceremony

After the formal service, the tone shifts. Just as you’d head to the fellowship hall or family home after a traditional funeral, the virtual reception room provides space for open connection.

There’s no script. No agenda. Just a chance for loved ones to unmute, turn on their cameras, and share. Maybe it’s a funny memory, a moment of gratitude, or simply a hello across time zones. These unscripted conversations bring warmth and community in a way that many people don’t expect from a virtual setting.

A New Way to Remember, A Deeply Human Experience

A virtual funeral doesn’t mean a lesser experience—it means a more accessible, inclusive one. With thoughtful planning, these three components—memorial website, structured service, and open reception—create something truly meaningful.

In a world that’s increasingly digital, the online memorial service isn’t just a backup plan. It’s a new, valid, and moving way to honor a life well lived.

The Diamond Approach: A More Meaningful Memorial Service

Diamond shining in the light.
The diamond approach is a more meaningful memorial service structure

Planning a memorial service can feel overwhelming, especially when trying to decide how best to honor a loved one. Many people default to a chronological approach, walking through the major milestones of a person’s life from birth to passing. While this method can provide a structured narrative, it often fails to capture the richness of who they were. 

Just like the many facets of a diamond, life isn’t just a sequence of events—it’s a collection of relationships, moments, and personal impacts. These significant moments don’t always follow a strict order, but can come sporadically or be found in the depth of friendships. In the same way that rotating a diamond reveals new beauties, looking at these different roles and relationships can help discover the unique gifts of every life.

The Limitations of the Chronological Approach

A strict timeline-based service can feel impersonal. While it acknowledges major milestones, it often reduces a person’s life to a series of achievements and facts rather than the love, kindness, and relationships that truly defined them. Moreover, not all periods of life are equally meaningful—some of the most impactful moments happen in friendships, small acts of generosity, or unexpected relationships that don’t fit neatly into a linear progression.

By shifting away from this rigid structure, families can celebrate the person as a whole, rather than simply documenting what they did and when. This approach allows for a deeper, more personal reflection on who they were and how they touched the lives of those around them.

Seeing the Full Picture: The Diamond Approach

Instead of following a timeline, the diamond approach structures a memorial service around the key relationships and communities that shaped the individual. Think of your loved one as a diamond with many facets—each reflecting a different part of their life. Rather than walking through events in order, this approach moves outward in concentric circles, acknowledging each layer of their influence:

  • Family First – A person’s impact often starts with their closest relationships. What kind of spouse, parent, sibling, or grandparent were they? What values did they pass down? What memories stand out to their loved ones?
  • Friendships & Social Influence – Friends see a side of someone that family may not. Whether it’s lifelong friendships, funny stories, or shared adventures, these relationships offer unique insights into their personality.
  • Professional Life & Mentorship – Work isn’t just about a paycheck; it’s about contributions, leadership, and camaraderie. Did they mentor others? Were they a creative force? How did they change the lives of those they worked with?
  • Causes & Contributions – Many people find fulfillment in giving back. Whether through charities, faith communities, or volunteer work, these commitments often reveal a person’s deepest passions and beliefs.

Why This Approach Works for Virtual Memorial Services

A virtual memorial service offers unique opportunities to celebrate someone’s life in a way that an in-person event sometimes cannot. Unlike traditional services where only a few people have the chance to speak, an online memorial service allows a broader range of voices to share their memories.

By structuring the service around relationships rather than timelines, a virtual funeral can become a dynamic, interactive experience where people contribute stories in real-time, type in the chat, or share messages that capture different aspects of the loved one’s life. This ensures that every facet of the person’s legacy is acknowledged, shared, and remembered.

Creating a Lasting Tribute

When planning a memorial service, consider the diamond approach. It ensures that every aspect of your loved one’s life is highlighted, making the service feel personal and meaningful rather than simply factual. If you’re looking for help on how to craft this kind of service don’t hesitate to contact us. After all, a person’s life isn’t just their timeline—it’s the love, kindness, and connections they leave behind.

Hybrid Funerals Can Fall Short — Why Fully Online Services Are Better

Video at hybrid event

A Hybrid funeral or memorial service is where an in-person gathering is live-streamed to remote attendees. These have become increasingly popular. But let’s be honest: they leave something to be desired.

Right off the bat I want to be very clear; I’m not saying hybrid services don’t serve a purpose. If you’re hosting an in-person event in a remote location, maybe on a beach, in the mountains, or at a family home, a livestream can be a great option. It helps distant loved ones experience the occasion. We help with these kinds of Hybrid Memorials all the time, and they can be very beautiful. If you’re looking to livestream an in person event, don’t hesitate to reach out. 

But there is a critical issue with Hybrid Funerals that needs to be addressed, and it has to do with inclusivity. 

The Problem with Hybrid Funerals, Memorial Services, or Celebrations of Life

The biggest issue with hybrid services is that they create two completely separate audiences. The in-person attendees and the online viewers are not having the same experience. One group is physically present, surrounded by others, hugging, laughing, crying together. The other group? They’re watching from a screen, passively observing. Perhaps they may get a quick nod from the speaker at the podium:

“We just want to acknowledge those joining us online—thank you for being here.”

And usually, that’s about the most interaction they get. 

A study done in the UK found the same thing – while hybrid memorials allowed a greater audience to attend, they left virtual attendees feeling less satisfied than the in person audience. 

Some quick thoughts on why Fully online Memorials might be the better overall option.

Why Fully Online Memorial Services & Celebrations of Life Are More Meaningful

Now, let’s take a look at a fully online memorial service. Here, everyone is in the same space. Attendees can turn on their microphones and cameras, type in the chat, share their thoughts in real time, and contribute to the experience instead of just watching it.  Everyone is a participant.

When everyone is online, no one feels like an afterthought. Everyone has an equal opportunity to share memories, speak up, and truly participate. The grieving process isn’t about sitting quietly and watching — it’s about connection. Fully online services foster that connection in a meaningful way for remote attendees. 

Separate, Not Blended

Some people argue that hybridization is the best of both worlds, but unfortunately it can leave the remote side feeling neglected. Instead of opting for an in-person event with an online audience it makes more sense to separate them into two distinct gatherings.

Many families we work with hold a fully online service first, ensuring that everyone, no matter where they are, has a chance to connect and participate. Then, those who are local gather separately for an intimate, in-person remembrance. Two beautiful experiences, rather than one experience that doesn’t quite serve anyone.

The Bottom Line

If you’re planning a memorial, you’re helping everyone honor and grieve their loved one. Hybrid services may seem like a convenient compromise, but can unintentionally leave half of your attendees disconnected. Instead, consider giving both experiences, online and in-person, the full space they deserve. Honoring a loved one should never be about just watching. It should be about being present, in a manner that allows for deep, rich connection.

Memorials aren’t actually for the deceased

Flowers at memorial
Photo by Caroline Attwood on Unsplash

There’s a common misconception I see when it comes to memorials—whether traditional funeral services, viewings, celebration of life gatherings, or even virtual memorial services. Many believe that when we memorialize someone who has passed, we’re doing it for them, as if the act of remembrance serves their benefit. But the truth is, memorials are for the living.

The Purpose of Memorialization

When we gather to have a funeral, host a memorial service, tell stories, share memories, or create an online celebration of life, we aren’t doing it for the deceased. We do it for ourselves. These moments of remembrance help us — the ones left behind — process our grief, find closure, and begin to navigate life without that person.

Grief is a complex process that can vary substantially from person to person. Memorialization, in any form, provides structure for that process. It allows us to acknowledge our loss, express our emotions, and feel a sense of connection even after someone is gone.

Creating a Memorial That Feels Right to You

When planning a memorial, it’s important to honor your loved one’s wishes — doing so honors their last requests — but it’s just as important to recognize that this process is for you. Memorialization is about healing, reflection, and finding closure in a way that feels meaningful to those left behind. Whether that means hosting a formal service, organizing a casual gathering, or creating an online memorial, the format should support your grieving process, not stringently adhere to some other format. 

I often hear people say their deceased loved one “didn’t want a big funeral,” or didn’t want people to “make a fuss” over their death. But their loss hurts. Their life mattered. There’s a huge hole in the place they used to fill in our lives. This commonly expressed sentiment, “don’t inconvenience yourself over me when I’m gone,” often comes from a genuine heart of caring for those who are left behind — but, crucially, misses the actual needs of those left behind! If we choose to gather and honor them for our sake, we aren’t defying their wishes. On the contrary! We still honor them by speaking about how they so lovingly cared for others.

Planning Your Own Memorial? Allow for Flexibility

For those who are thinking ahead and considering how they want to be remembered, it’s understandable to have preferences. However, being too prescriptive in memorial plans can unintentionally limit the emotional process for loved ones. The best memorials are those that allow the grieving to honor their loved one in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them.

Often, when I refer to online memorials, the focus is on the flexibility they provide for attendees. While that’s a valuable benefit, the flexibility I’m referring to here is something different. It’s about giving your loved ones the freedom to plan a memorial that feels right to them. Memorials should be a reflection of the people who are grieving, allowing them to find healing in their own way.

A Thought to Carry Forward

The next time you think about a funeral or memorialization for a loved one, remember this: it’s not for them. It’s for you. It’s for the ones who remain, who need a way to navigate grief, find closure, and keep the memory of their loved one alive in their own way.

By shifting our perspective on memorials, we allow ourselves and others the space to grieve, heal, and remember — not out of obligation, but out of love.

Online Memorials are for Everyone

Memorial Image

Virtual memorial services are more than just a response to the pandemic. In fact, online memorials & celebrations of life are becoming an essential and lasting way to honor loved ones, especially in today’s increasingly mobile society.

In our modern world, people are more geographically dispersed than ever before. While someone may have spent their whole life in the same home in rural America, their family, friends, and loved ones are likely spread out across the country and even around the globe. This geographic spread can make it difficult for everyone to gather in person for a traditional memorial service, celebration of life, or funeral. That’s where virtual memorials and online celebrations of life come in.

Virtual memorials break down barriers

Even for individuals who lived in the same community for their entire life, their loved ones may be unable to travel to honor them due to distance, financial limitations, or other reasons. Virtual memorial services, online celebrations of life, and hybrid funerals break down these barriers, allowing people from anywhere in the world to join together and celebrate the life of their loved one.

At Willowise, we firmly believe that honoring a life should never be limited by geography. Virtual memorials offer a meaningful way for people to connect and share in the remembrance, regardless of where they are located. Whether family members are across the country or on the other side of the world, online memorials ensure that no one is excluded from paying their respects.

The beauty of a virtual memorial or celebration of life is its flexibility. These services allow people to participate from the comfort of their own home, any location, or from any device that works for them. Plus, with the help of technology, everyone can feel closely connected despite the physical distance between them. An added bonus is that these online gatherings can be recorded for viewing at a later date & time.

Online memorials honor memories

In a world where people are constantly moving and settling far from their hometowns, online memorial services and online celebrations of life provide a solution that brings people together to honor and remember their loved ones. Whether it’s family, friends, or colleagues who can’t be there in person, virtual memorials offer an inclusive, accessible way for everyone to participate.

At Willowise, we’re passionate about helping families create meaningful virtual memorial services that allow people from all walks of life to come together and celebrate the memory of a loved one. If you’re interested in learning more about how we can help you plan a virtual memorial, reach out to us via our contact page. We’re here to assist you during this important time.

By focusing on the benefits and accessibility of virtual memorial services, we aim to provide an inclusive, respectful way for people to honor the lives of those they’ve lost.

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